Actions rather than words

Some of you who know me personally may be aware of the state of negativity that has been gobbling me up the last few months. It’s a constant struggle to get out of it, to move on and not look back with sorrow, hurt and regret.

I may still write about it. See how it goes. Either this helps me come to terms with the situation (like friends say – to help me become a better person) or I go back to that downward spiral – which has happened a few times, just when I thought I was gonna be okay.

I’ve also noticed this site has been receiving a few hits even though I’ve abandoned it for quite some time. I should give you oh faithful few visitors (or new ones who stumbled in) some new material.

To start off, I guess I should focus on the positive things again. Hopefully this will push the negative clouds far, far away and bring my ray of sunshine back again.

This story is about the non-confrontational approach. I get worked up seeing people do wrong things. Like spitting and littering. I once scolded a girl for chucking a drink can nonchalantly even though the rubbish bin was just three steps away.

But this time, I thought, why not try a different approach. Shame the other party by doing what should be done.

It was one of those crappy weeks. I was working on a pitch with a ridiculous deadline. And it involved too many people who were not on the same page… you know how it is. Messy. Needless to say, we had to work many unnecessary hours.

So there I was, pulling an overnighter. When I couldn’t take it anymore, I told my colleague, I need to go home now. I needed at least 4 hours of sleep to function at the presentation the next day (or rather, that afternoon, as it was already morning). We just had a little more revisions to make and my partner wasn’t going for the presentation, so let him finish it. I knew he wasn’t going to turn up early anyway, since his usual coming in time is pretty close to lunch hour.

I called for a taxi, and went downstairs. I was just leaving for home and the newspaper delivery man was just coming in. It was that early in the morning. I didn’t think Pandelela Rinong’s amazing win of the Olympics bronze medal for diving (she’s the first Malaysian woman to win an Olympics medal – and she’s not even a badminton player – our usual hope) hours earlier made it to the front pages.

The newspaper man took his time sorting out the newspapers on the back of his motorbike. The stacks were separated by sheets of plain paper, which he crumpled up and tossed towards the rubbish bin outside the lobby. This is one of those skinny stainless steel bins for cigarette butts and tissue paper. The hole is small and it’s at the side, so of course the crumpled paper missed the mark.

Did I get worked up? No. Too tired. Too lazy to even be angry. The world is full of angry people. No need add to that.

So I waited till the taxi came. Before I boarded it, I walked to the bin, picked the paper up, and put it into the bin.

The newspaper guy said I didn’t have to do that. Mumbled something about the cleaners’ job.

I just said, no, it’s still not right. And went into the taxi.

Hope he got the message.


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